*Photo credit: glaadblog.org

We know it…it’s never easy. Valentine’s day is a trap: both if you’re in a relationship (shall we go somewhere fancy? Is this card too cheesy? OMG now we need to do something special!) or if you’re single (Why I’m always alone? Hey, why I need to be with someone? Who buys all this cheesy cards?).

If you’re living with two cats, a shared Netflix account, a bowl of quinoa salad in the fridge and a bunch of flannel shirts you might not be interested to read this article (but you never know when the future will reserve, right?).

If you are living in Thailand since a little while, you just arrived or even you’re planning to come soon – you are probably wondering: how the heck I’m going to pick up girls in Bangkok? Or, why I’ve never succeeded to pick up any Thai girl?

No worries, one of our Thai manguette had volunteered herself and given us some insight.

First of all, getting your game plan ready; let’s get to know the landscape before diving in

#1 Yes, you need to go and “search” in the right places- this short guide to queer women friendly spot in Bangkok can be useful.

#2 It’s not always the party time- then some digital help and get on one of these apps for your mobile or tablet, or one of these websites

#3 Maybe someone is hiding at some vegan places in town.

#4 Later, you need to be sure that you want to catch the right “type” of queer girl! Tom, dee or lesbian? Confused Get a broad idea with this super cool article on the local scene.

#5 Be sure to get the right Thai style.

#6 And if it’s by night, be ready to drink a lot of Sangsom rum.

And ok, now you’re all set and ready! You’re at the bar drinking your rum-coke-lime and boom, you see her! She’s a beautiful and charming Thai girl. After some time, finally you get her attention, she is looking at you, and one moment after you are looking into each other eyes. After giving a final sip of your drink, you finally decide to approach her. You say hi and…you discover that she speaks only Thai!

What to do? Try these easy and tested* pick up lines. We assure you that in the *remote* case they don’t get you laid…at least will make her laugh and we are sure you will have a good one!

QueerMango Notes: Thai is a context-based language which subject (who), object (whom) and time (when) are mostly emitted in casual conversation. So don’t be perplexed when Thais speak to you in phrases without any specific details it means they’re talking to ‘you’ and they’re talking about ‘now’.

Ok, now it’s time for the pick-up lines compilation by one of our Thai manguette.

The (7/11) convenient one
THAI: หน้าตาไม่เท่าไหร่…แต่เอาใจใส่ 24 ช.ม.
KARAOKE: Nar-tarh mai-tao-rai…tae aow-jai-sai yee-sib-see chua-mong
ENGLISH: I might not have the prettiest face, but I will take care of you 24/7.

The straight-forward one
THAI: น่ารักขนาดนี้ มีแฟนยังคะ
KARAOKE: Naruk ka-nard nee, mee fan young ka?
ENGLISH: You look really cute. Do you have a girlfriend?

The short sighted one
THAI: ที่จริงผู้หญิงในห้องนี้ก็เยอะนะ แต่ทำไมเห็นแค่คุณคนเดียว
KARAOKE: Tee-jing puu-ying nai hong nee kor yer na…tae tammai hen kae khun khon diew
ENGLISH: There are a lot of women in this room…but I can see only you.

The beyond-the-language-barrier one
THAI: สิ่งเดียวที่สายตาคุณยังไม่ได้บอก คือชื่อของคุณค่ะ
KARAOKE: Sing diew tee saii-tarh khun young mai dai bork…kue chue khong khun ka
ENGLISH: The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

The ‘Land of Smile’ one
THAI: ทุกครั้งที่หันไปมองคุณ ต้องยิ้มทุกทีเลย
KARAOKE: Took krang tee han pai mong khun, tong yiim took tee leoi
ENGLISH: Every time I look at you, I smile.

The quizzy one
A: How do you say the word “LOVE” in Thai?
B: Rak. / รัก.
KARAOKE: Kob khun tee tum hai roo-jack khum waar rak.
THAI: ขอบคุณที่ทำให้รู้จักคำว่า”รัก”
ENGLISH: Thank you for letting me know what “love” is.

Ok, now you should be ready to master the sacred art of the picking up Thai girls at the bar. Did it work? You got splashed with a drink in the face?
Let us know how it went in the comments!